Trauma, and Chucking the Experts
Three years ago I got married, moved 300 miles, moved into my first home, began my first full-time job, and packed a husband into his second year of graduate school within the space of three weeks. It was traumatic. Unavoidable, amazing, and strengthening, but traumatic.
We haven’t learned our lesson. I will be quitting my job, moving 10 hours away, buying our first home, and packing my husband into his first year of teaching all in another three week space.
But what, really, can be done about it? So many self-help and other articles I’ve read on the internet caution you to space out your major life events; to avoid doing too many things at once; to protect your psyche from so much upheaval. That you should never plan to get married right before beginning a new job or academic studies; that you shouldn’t ever have a baby while moving.
But is it possible, under most circumstances, to avoid doing at least two, usually three+ of these major life changing events at once? You can’t move unless you change jobs. You can’t get married unless you move. You often don’t buy a new house unless you get a new job, have a baby, move, etc. You can’t experience divorce without moving, often changing churches, and half the time, needing to start a new job. And in the end… can you really control any of it at all?
I just don’t see any way around the mess. So I’m going to forego all of the gurus and psychiatrists and psychologists and therapists and just follow the advice of Michael Bluth – “head down, power through.”
And, for the moment, I’m going to sit here at my Mom’s house and let her make delicious dinners while I play with the kids and pretend that I’m not homeless and incomeless for the next few weeks.